| Wednesday, April 12, 2006 |
| The Post of Laughter and Forgetting (Kundera Title Ripoff 2) |
If in a time crunch, heavily soiled onesies are better cut off than pulled over your child's head, lest you have to start fresh with a bath after smearing it up their back a half hour before church starts.
Don't ever leave an open tube of A & D ointment open within reach of the changing pad.
Keep the number of poison control handy just in case you do leave an open tube of A & D ointment next to the changing pad.
The cat's tail is not a binky.
The polyester stuffing of a Boppy does not qualify as "dietary fiber." Neither does a freshly pulled fistful of cat fur.
Toe jam is the best in between meal snack.
Flash photography and sleeping babies don't mix.
Sleeves and pantlegs are merely suggestions.
Lanolin is great for cracked nipples. It also works well for cracked heels and as a lip balm. It waterproofs boots well too.
Prunes work even better than advertised.
Who needs teethers when you have fingers?
Tylenol and Mylicon combined make for some weird diapers (think Rorschach tests).
Write "BUTT" in big letters on your child's rectal thermometer. You'll be glad you did.
If you turn the ringer off on your phone while your child is napping, remember to turn it back on. Before the end of the week (if you called, I'm SO sorry).
High-velocity carrot splatter will make your dining room look like the set of CSI: Produce.
When the diaper package says it's rated for 16-28 pounds, it lies. It'll only hold about 2 (see prunes comment above, or the onesie comment, for that matter).
Your child's favorite toy will be the least replaceable, least cleanable item in your house.
Before you call the Doctor, make sure the flakiness on your child's face isn't just rice starch instead of psoriasis. |
posted by Tarah @ 10:16 PM  |
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| 2 Comments: |
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What in Heaven's name is a "boppy"!?
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I'm thinkin' my girl really likes to read your blog! Wow!
So I just gotta tell ya ... this post had me laughing out loud. I have SO dealt with each and every one of these issues! Har! Thanks for the memories!
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What in Heaven's name is a "boppy"!?